Mixed Emotions...

It's been weeks that I have been having thoughts on moving on and taking a different path. It seems that what I'm doing now is not making me happy anymore. I have been dabbling into cooking, talking my old friends and contacts which makes me more alive and excited. Seeing these people made me realize and recalculate my steps on the next best steps to do. That means doing what I'm good at. Follow my passion in cooking and baking, complete all my plans in the next few months, put a sizeable capital for another business then pay off all my payables etc. Which is working my butt out then start off with a clean slate too. I haven't discussed my plans with my husband but I hope he would support me on this. Guess it's not good to hide my emotions and worries away that leads to at times waking up in unholy hours at night. Yet I don't want to have him fret on or make it such an issue but the thing is...he might have felt it anyways.. After I went home from Auckland to visit my relatives it seems that my life has been altered in a way. I was longing for a life like that in which its really laid back, no pollution, nice rolling hills and greeneries, fresh air and a park in which I so much adored...In which we don't have those kinds here in the Philippines and honestly I fell in love with the place and wished that I will be with Ven there building a better future. Am seeing ourselves having good opportunities and better lives too. Imagine, my sister told me that even if you work at either Countdown or Pak n Save can actually pay for you gas, rent and food. But such a sad thing here in the Philippines.